Don't ask me to weep

I hear that my stalker is now unemployed, although the details are sketchy. I'm not even going to shed crocodile tears, because I've been holding back one or two things from these pages. Let's just say that it's likely that his job disappearing was a direct consequence of his own stupidity and obstinacy. Although not a colleague, and certainly not a friend, his application of those same qualities was beginning to threaten my own continuing employment. If you don't understand, it doesn't matter. If you do know who and what I'm talking about, it's about time you stopped hiding in the bushes to spy on me, you sneaky...

Ah, what the heck... I'm in marketing, so my job is never going to be safe.

I just wish that my job security weren't so dependent upon factors beyond my influence, particularly the performance of other people. I recall all too well how, a dozen or so years ago, a client fired my then employer because they'd finally realised that the advertising was dreadfully amateur and not delivering results. To avoid the embarrassment of continuing meetings with the agency, they cancelled the PR as well. As I'd just spent the months since my joining on turning around a dismal PR history by hugely boosting the quality and quantity of the coverage, I was somewhat unimpressed.

Another former agency was fired by a client, after a couple of years of unquestioned excellence. On - very belatedly - hearing the news (a story in itself), I persuaded their most senior folks to turn the firm cancellation into an invitation to re-pitch. What could I do, I asked, to maximise the likelihood of our success. The answer was a wince. Then, looking me straight in the eyes, the company founder was succinct: "Don't bring X." As this referred to the MD/proprietor, I was left in a quandary; I sought the advice of somebody who knew her well and he confirmed that it would be most unwise even to pass on this information to her. Fortunately, the re-pitch invitation was withdrawn, due to her sending a succession of abusive communications to the erstwhile client. I still have the far-from-cheap and absolutely perfectly targeted farewell/thanks present they sent me. Within weeks, I resigned.

Hey ho.